Hi everyone. So on day 5, not much wind today which was nice but after some low cloud it was then a whiteout for the day so I couldn’t really see anything. I am getting into my routine though and I am feeling good.
Today I wanted to talk about when I got back from my expedition earlier this year. So I struggled when I got back after my expedition at the start of this year, I got back to the UK around 14 Jan after completing phase one (700 miles solo to the South Pole). I got back to the UK and completed around three weeks of interviews before starting school talks. The talks were organised by the Army and involved travelling to Regions all over the UK. It was amazing to connect with so many young people but I also remember feeling that something wasn’t right. I was completing 3-5 talks a day including evening talks, I drove around 8000 miles in the 4 month period. I had breaks in the school holidays but I used these breaks to train for phase two of the expedition (which I’m on now). I felt as though I was drowning and I didn’t know how to get out. I would be fine during the talks and was able to smile for interviews but would often break down and cry after finishing for the evening.
During that time, I did not have the capacity to think about anything else, I know a lot of messages and emails have been unanswered, I was struggling to cope. I was also still in debt from phase one of the expedition until May this year.
I started to feel better in May, I started my new role and moved to Halton for my new Army role. I move every 2-3 years to my next Army posting. I work with a great team who I will talk about in another post. It has been tough training around work, it has often felt like I’ve had two full time jobs, work from 8 until 5, training and all of the expedition preparation around that, using any bit of leave I had to train. I’m grateful to be able to take a period of leave from the Army to do this expedition.
I’m talking about this because I want to be honest about my experiences, I know others have felt like they’re drowning but I also realised if you do feel that way, if you feel like you’re drowning and do not tell anybody, how will they know. So please talk to somebody.
Thats all for tonight.
You can see my live location and listen to my audio updates here.
Sorry to hear of your emotional challenges after your return from the last expedition. I completely get it. The two environments (on-exped and post-exped) are so extremely different. Wow… I take my hat off to you for your courage and determination to make it through both extremes. Good luck. You inspire thousands.
Best of luck
It takes a lot to share one’s most intimate feelings especially when it’s not your most positive moments, thank you