Hi everyone. On day 21.
So, this is mentally a difficult trip, I can’t see anything on the horizon. I follow the bearing, the direction of travel on my compass but can’t see anything in front of me. Last year it brought all of my deepest darkest thoughts to the front and I couldn’t run away from them. It was difficult knowing I was going to likely face this again.
Personally, I struggled with those that put barriers and boundaries in my way, made it harder for me to push them. It is even more difficult when the same individuals try to take credit for your success. Something that helped me was realising that forgiving people does not mean you need to have them in your life.
It is difficult having those that drain you in your life and it has made me feel better to know that I have taken a step away from individuals so they cannot have that effect on me.
It is not always easy. I wanted to go to therapy this year but got so caught up in everything else and felt too busy (which is a poor excuse). It is still something I intend to do when I am back, talk to somebody professional to help me when I am in those dark places.
For now, in the dark moments, I take it one step at a time.
Thats all for tonight.